I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
