what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
