Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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