His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
