Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
