i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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