we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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