u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
