We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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