Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
tell me about the fingering
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