I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
