If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
