well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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