she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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