I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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