Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think my moral compass just broke
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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