We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
