All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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