i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's never too late to be topless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
