that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
