I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize