I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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