You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
