You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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