i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
