The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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