he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
