My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
