Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
