Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
