Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
