wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
