Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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