return my video game
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
