Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she peed on how many people?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
