I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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