Dual....:-)
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize