id be glad to
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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