i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
