just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
