Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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