Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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