I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
