White coat. Heels.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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