i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
