Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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