anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize