Nicole vs. Life
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
