we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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