If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
