and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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