I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
