is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
