Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
