A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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