is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My first STD was from a foam party
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need to calm my uterus...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
