Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
