He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
