i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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